By Chris Ward
This article was originally written as a posting to the Hand Ball List, hence it is formatted as a letter.
Often I read emails on this list from people seeking advice on how to fist someone for the first time. I know that just about everyone on this list has poped some virgin butts--and everyone has his own technique for helping the bottom take a fist for the first time. I am pretty good at working with first timers--infact it is one of my specialties. Over IML weekend I opened up 7 new holes (I admit, that is my weekend record!), and in my many years of fisting, I have only failed twice when attempting a first fisting. I have a few tricks that just about always work, and I thought I would pass them along.
The first thing I do when my novice bottom is lying in a sling is to talk to them. Usually they tell me that they have been trying to get fisted, but although they have taken 4 or so fingers, they really can't just go that final distance. This is really a common situation which I encounter at least 3 or 4 times a month. These guys have really worked to get fisted, and they are often frustrated by their lack of success. Another common situation is guys that were fisted once--years ago and it was a bad experience. I count these guys as novices as well.
I start by telling them three important things that will help alleviate any tension that comes from anxiety: 1). Once the fist goes in, the butt hole is actually stressed less than when the fist is actually going in--the pain does not keep on building, instead it is quickly releived (though the feeling is still very intense) as soon as the fist slides in and finds a comfortable place to come to a rest. Experienced fisters, of course, know this--but it can sometimes be a bit of welcome news to the beginner; 2) once the fist is in, I tell them, I will not do anything intense--instead I will let it stay in about 30 seconds, and then I will carefully remove it. This first fisting is to break down physical and psychological barriers. The second fisting will be much easier. And Finally, 3) I tell them that contrary to what they might think, taking the fist out is not nearly as bad as putting it in. It is amazing how many guys have psychological fear relating to these three issues, so by talking about them it really helps releive tension and get their butt holes to opened up.
The next think I do is find out what sort of enhancements they use. Usually a first timer needs some kind of drugs, but this is not always the case. I usually recommend popers at a minimun, and a bit of pot doesn't help. Beyond that I have a hard time in actually recomending that someone use harder drugs. That is up to them (and it doesn't hurt insofar as my job of fisting them is concerned). If they don't have popers, I provide them a good bottle.
Step three often involves convincing them that they should be using Crisco® rather than other forms of lube (which are simply not as slick). If my hands are in good shape and we are in a clean environment, I will recommend not using gloves--but I never insist on it. Gloves to create drag and they can be a bit irritating. Use much more lube than you would normally use--you can never have too much. I normally use 1 small can per fisting.
I warm the bottom up with care, starting with just a finger, then two or three. When the hole is a little open, I start pushing lube up into his chute. One thing to remember is that warm Crisco® is a lot more slick than cold Crisco® --and a warm butt hole is more into getting fisted than a cold one. So always go slow enought to let the lube warm up. (After they have been getting fisted for years they can move up to the level of iced Crisco® , etc).
A word of warning: bottoms will almost always go on and on about "go slow, go slow." Indeed, one must move slowly, but if you spend too much time on the warmup, their very sensitive butts will become too sore to take a fist--inshort, there is a window of opportunity before their butts close down. Many first fisting attempts fail because this window is missed.
I have never warmed anyone up for more than about 15 minutes. Physically, the butt is not going to benefit from additional foreplay, and after a short while it will become irritated.
Tops should think about three things as the fisting attempt progresses: 1) do not have to much motion going on--instead just keep your hand moving very very slowly and very very steadily; 2) try to make a little progress with each attempt, realizing that it may take 4 or 5 attempts to finally succeed; 3) when the bottom gets to the point of widest stretch, but keeps failing, make him take a tripple hit of poppers--this will usually do the trick.
Tops should also try to figure out where the chute goes before an actual fisting takes place--it will make the effort much less painful. I figure this out when I am at the "three fingers" stage--push the three fingers in as far as they can go and try to find the second sphincter--then follow this route up when you actually start fisting.
For problem bottoms (who dont line up right on the inside, or who just can't quite get over the widest part) here is a simple trick that can help. Take your hand all the way out and give them a chance to rest for 30 or so seconds. Then make them push out on their butt holes as hard as they can--tell them to keep pushing until you tell them to stop. When pushing out, their insides often line up and you can find your best fisting route. Also, while pushing out the bottom can take a whole lot more discomfort--which is key. While they are pushing out, push your fist in as far as possible, and with the pressure still very steady, tell them too relax very quickly. Guess what! The fist usually works its way in.
Sometimes the top must really help the bottom get thru that final moment. It is often an issue of trust--you have to talk to your bottom and construct a bond so that he will be able to allow you to do what you need to do at the right time. With some guys, when the going gets really tough, I look them directly in the eye and convince them to trust me a bit more. Sometimes I have to convince them to take just a bit more discomfort--but I only have to do this if I feel they are really very close and just need a tiny bit more of a push to succeed. Also, tops should know that at some point when pushing that first fist into the butt, there comes a point that to pull the fist out is just as painful as pushing it the rest of the way in. If you get stalled at that point, your best bet is to convince the bottom to go for it. Another thing to understand is the power of momentum. IF the forward motion of the fist ever stops, further pushing can be very irritating--a slow steady motion from outside the hole all the way in is the best, least irritating way to get the job done.
Almost always these guys are amazed that they could take it with relative ease (I do have small hands--and you bottoms out there are advised to start with smaller hands rather than larger ones). And almost always after I fist them, they want it again after a minute or two rest.
So here is a basic summary:
1. use poppers 2. use Crisco®3. 3. dont over warm up the bottom 4. keep motion to a minimum--slow and gentle is the way to succeed 5. work with the bottom to get the job done 6. build a level of trust by talking about issues that may be causing undue tension. 7. and for bottoms--try to find a top with small hands who has experience!
I hope this is helpful. It comes from years of experience,and it is just some of the stuff I have picked up on the fisting trail. There are a bunch of guys on this list who have experienced my approach for initial fisting. Feel free to ask around and they can tell you it really works.
If anyone has any hints they would like to pass along, please email them to me. I am always trying to become a better top.
Xof © 2003